I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
