i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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