the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
