dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
