Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize