It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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