We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
