that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
