he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
