it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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