omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
