We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
