I didn't shave. On purpose
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Randomize
