He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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