Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
