Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
