great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
