So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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