Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
