What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
