drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
