I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
