i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
