I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think your dad took our porno
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize