Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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