You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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