Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
