She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
