I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
