By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Buhtt sex?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
