Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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