I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
