Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he shaved USA in his pubs
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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