I just pynch a tree in the face
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
