im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
