also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
