Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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