he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
