just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
