After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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