There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
