Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think I won the penis lottery.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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