Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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