the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
