She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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