Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
