I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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