I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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