i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
