spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
