So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's great music for shaving your balls
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
