watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
