dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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