mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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