Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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