You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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