Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
