Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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