yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I look better un-naked...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
