I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
