Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
