How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's rum buckets o'clock
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
