Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
