he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize