people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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