dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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