If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
