seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
